Civility in a Train Station
by little-miss-snape123
Summary: Lucius Malfoy was an old man now, on the verge of death, he'd heard that your whole life flashed before your eyes.   But he only thought of her. One-shot in which the war warps a relationship, and the aftermath. Not much of a romance. R R please!


Lucius Malfoy was an old man now, on the verge of death, he'd heard that your whole life flashed before your eyes.

But he only thought of her.

He remembered meeting her as a twelve year old, she was genuinely repulsive, her buck teeth, frizzy hair and inferior status disgusted the vain man, he could recall thinking he'd seen nothing uglier.

The next few times he'd seen her were only in passing, though he heard much about her from his son. She was a know it all, _intelligent. _Lucius doubted his son's testimony, a mudblood could not possess more intelligence than his son, his son wasn't even just an ordinary pureblood. He was a _Malfoy. _He spoke about the girl with Severus, deliberately not considering why he cared so much. Severus reinforced Draco's claims, the girl was intelligent, but insufferable. Good, Lucius couldn't handle a charismatic and smart mudblood, if she'd been charismatic she'd have undoubtedly gone for political office. Lucius would do his utmost to stop a mudblood becoming Minister of Magic, it would be over his dead body.

He almost didn't recognise her when he walked in to her at the Quidditch Cup, she'd blossomed. He'd never seen her this closely before, she seemed to radiate strength somehow, her eyes were smart, even as they glared up at him. She walked past him, her distaste evident. Lucius couldn't help the smile that played around his lips, how odd, she found _him _vile.  
The next time he saw her would be that night, he paraded around behind a mask, she was desperately trying to scramble away.

'Hey, it's the Granger girl' One of the Death Eaters jeered, the others cackled, one taking aim at her with his wand, Lucius incinerated a nearby tent, distracting the others, by the time they looked back for her, she was gone. He spent the night in much confusion, he'd saved the girl's life. He couldn't even place why, she wasn't an innocent, she was a mudblood, best friends with Potter... Yet he'd set fire to the tent with every intention of it being a distraction, to allow her to escape. Lucius pushed the event out of his mind, placing the memory in a pensieve.

The Ministry of Magic. Department of Mysteries, the disaster that would cost Lucius his freedom, he could recall when it had all started to fall apart, he hadn't known who was there, he hadn't seen, they'd all run so quickly. He'd flicked his wand at one, sending them crashing against the wall, slumping to the floor. Running over to the heaped figure he noticed it was the mudblood, blood pouring from her mouth, it smeared on to his robes, her dirty filthy blood stained in to his magnificent tailoring. He realised he'd spent too long just watching her, he had to make a snap decision, bundling her in to his arms he moved her underneath a desk, casting a silence charm around it, hopefully she wouldn't wake up, no one would see her. Lucius ran off, trying to ignore the troubling thoughts that entered his mind, the questions he couldn't answer. _Why?_

Lucius spent his entire time at Azkaban trying to answer the questions, had it been her age? The innocence of a young girl, Lucius tried to believe it was that, but another thought kept creeping in. It was that strength she radiated, that intelligence, how could he waste such gifts? Even if they belonged to filth. But Lucius did not appreciate that idea, it disturbed him that he could make exceptions to his hatred.

After his escape, Lucius's wand was taken by the Dark Lord, in order to _humiliate _him. His house was treated like a prison, members of the opposition were kept and Lucius was expected to oversee their treatment. Without his wand he couldn't leave the safe confines of Malfoy Manor, he grew resentful.

The first time he saw the girl in his Manor was when Bellatrix had her, torturing her. Lucius froze as he noticed who she was, her body writhed from the pain, screams tore from her throat, he was transfixed by the sight. Most of all by the anger that rose in him, this was his home, how dare Bella behave like this, how had he not even known the girl was here? He despised being treated no better than a filthy muggle. He couldn't bear to listen to the screams, he knew it would look off if he walked away though, so he forced himself to listen. Later on he moved the memories in to the pensieve, which was filled solely with memories of the girl, against his best efforts he was still intrigued by her. He wanted to understand her, all of her. He wanted to know her, to have the oppurtunity to have an ordinary conversation with her. He watched her closely, without her knowledge, he just had the bizarre urge to know her, understand what she was like. If he was telling the truth, he was devastated when she escaped.

Lucius didn't really remember much of the next few months, it rushed by in a blur of anger, resentment and violence. There was a brawl, one of many, she was there. Close to him as everyone dueled, Lucius unsure of who he was fighting for, he occasionally struck a death eater if they veered to close to the girl, his eye caught sight of a spell ricocheting off a mirror and it bounded back in to potions lined up carefully on the side, he took the split second before the explosion to grab hold of the girl, he pulled her closely in and pushed her to the floor, covering her small frame with his, she screamed out in pain and fear, Lucius felt the rush of hot air over them and his back was covered in shards of glass, his thick robes protecting his thin skin. As soon as the explosion was over Lucius rolled off the girl, she grabbed his arm. Her eyes confused and imploring, they bored in to him. He pulled his arm away from her as the room roared in to bloody commotion, no one else seemed to have escaped the blast unharmed, he noticed the cuts scattered across people's face and necks, the singed skin and the odd person who'd been knocked dead to the ground, he pulled her after him as they escaped the room. He pulled her heavy-footed along a darkened corridor, the sounds of violence growing dimmer.

'Why did you do that?' She shouted. 'Let go of me'

Lucius pushed open a door and they fell outside, bathed in the brilliant sunshine that hid the fighting going on in the shadows. He realised as he turned to her how bizarre this was, he'd never even spoke to the girl. What was he _doing?_

'Just... Leave' Lucius said, his voice stumbled slightly over the words. 'Escape, you'll only die here'

He could have smiled at the bewildered look on the mudblood's face, she looked lost, her eyes glanced around.

'Why do you care?'

'You idiot, don't question me, just go!' Lucius commanded, of course she'd question it, anyone would, how strange to have a middle aged death eater inexplicably choose you to save. Lucius didn't understand his motives, he certainly didn't want to delve in to them now.

'Thank you' She tried to say but her voice failed her and nothing came out, the confusion overcome her and she flew at him, pressing her body against his as she kissed him, his mouth did not fall open, he did not return it, she did not move her lips against his, she just remained crushed against him for another moment before turning to run, apparating as she went. Lucius stood stock still, his breathing shallow, his fingers reached up to touch his lips gently. Of course he'd had to save her.

Another memory found its way in to the pensieve, the night Lucius had almost died, he'd been involved in a brawl, in a wood, he'd been knocked unconscious and he lay cold on the dried leaves. The next thing he remembered was warm hands on his neck, his face, his chest. Trying to figure out if he was alive, after that he was warm, and his muscles ached less. The fog in his mind was clearing and somehow he'd ended up in a tent of some kind, he didn't recall being moved, he tried to speak, to demand knowledge of where he was, but his throat was dry, nothing but a croak sounded. Then she swam in to view, always her. There was little chance of her finding him, let alone her helping him like this. What kind of world did they live in when a mudblood and a death eater had some system of saving each other? When if the other kind didn't exist then there'd be no need for rescue in the first place.

'You can't let anyone know, that I saved you, and you have to go soon, I have your wand, I want you to promise not to hurt me if I give it to you'

Lucius wanted to laugh as his eyes tried to stay focused on her, as if a simple promise would bind him, not that he'd had any intention of killing her. The thought had never even entered his mind.

Lucius simply nodded slowly, she sighed and placed his wand down by his side, with a huge effort Lucius pushed himself up.

'Why?' He asked, Hermione's eyes widened.

'Don't question me' She replied, imitating his own reply, she was sitting close to him, balancing on her knees, her back straight and her body language cautious, probably wondering why she'd done it, if it was the right thing to have done, Lucius reached out to her, she held her breath as his hand gently brushed her face. Lucius shifted slightly as he leant in to her, he pressed his lips against hers. She remained still for a movement before opening her mouth, sighing in to him. His stomach clenched as he moved closer to her, ignoring the dull ache of his muscles, in that moment he wanted nothing more than to consume her, to have her. It wasn't as structured as his passions normally were, it was desperate, he never normally succumbed to lust, and he wouldn't even call this lust now, it sounded far too seedy, he just needed her, to have her, he couldn't stop it if he tried. It gave a meaning to his odd actions.

He pushed the mudblood back on to the tent floor, her body weighting down on the messy bed covers, the only light was an eerie magical light that filled the tent. Lucius couldn't understand the spasms going through his chest as he kissed the girl, or the deep seated knot in his stomach. For some unknown reason he felt like crying, he could do nothing except kiss the girl with an increased intensity, his lips caressing hers harshly, the wet of her cheeks pressed against his face and his eyes opened briefly, she was crying through closed eyes, Lucius made to move away but she clung desperately at his torso, dragging him back down to her, her legs wrapped themselves round him, preventing him from moving away, so he simply moved closer and his hips begun to move against hers, it was so oddly erotic, Lucius didn't think he'd ever experienced anything more passionate than pressing his hips desperately against the mudblood's, feeling her tears wet his cheeks.

He moved his robes aside and pulled hers up, she made no move to stop him, her hands remained tight on his shoulders as he pushed himself inside her, he collapsed against her with a sigh, wanting nothing more than to feel the girl against him, to just be as close as possible with her, his old thoughts recurred to him. He wanted to know everything about her. It was without a doubt the most straightforward sex he'd ever had, there was no foreplay, or sweet whispers, no variety of positions. Lucius simply built up a rhythm that was punctuated by the girl's stifled sobs, she still held him desperately to her, he wondered how she didn't mind the pain, perhaps she just had the same urge to feel him as close to her as possible. He reveled in the feeling of her body underneath his, the curves of it were evident even through their robes. He propped himself up on his elbows, his body still against hers, Lucius just wanted to look in to her eyes. To _understand. _It barely took a few seconds of looking at her tear stained face before he tumbled over the edge, collapsing back against her and pushing his face in to her neck, he felt her hands travel soothingly in to his hair, her legs were still wrapped around him, unwilling to let go yet. She didn't understand, and she desperately wanted to, she thought she'd figure it all out, she was still just as perplexed. Still wondering why.

'I have to leave' Lucius whispered, it was only the second thing he'd said to her that night.

Hermione released him from her grip and he moved away, she sat up and awkwardly repositioned her robes, he looked at her sadly.

'I don't know' He said, answering her unsaid question. He felt tears leak silently out of his eyes, the warmth seared across his cold skin.

'Keep safe' She said, her voice broke slightly as she said it.

'You too' He said, he twirled his wand gently as he picked it up, disappearing from her sight with a crack.

Lucius wondered whether pensieves could ever contain too many thoughts, he was sure he was close to filling this one up with memories of the mudblood. Every memory of her was contained in here, from the briefest of glances to whatever it was that had transpired between them, he struggled to call it sex because it wasn't just that, it wasn't even predominantly that, it was just a quest for complete understanding, underlined by that unfathomable urge to know everything about the other.

She consumed all of his thoughts, every moment of his day he wondered how she was, how would he know if she died? How would he react, would he grieve? He had no right to grieve, not when he played a part in the prejudice against her.

The final battle was little more than a rage of confusion, Lucius didn't fight, he simply tried to find his family. Or _her. _She found him.

'Lucius!' She cried, he found he didn't mind her using his first name, he ran over to her and instinctively bought his arms round her, crushing her in to him. He dragged her behind some trees, hidden from most of the action. After releasing her Lucius realised he had no idea what to say, he didn't want to scare the girl, he wished for the fall of the Dark Lord. So he could have an ordinary conversation with her, a _friendship. _Anything, just contact with her in some way.

'You shouldn't be fighting' He managed to say after a pause, the mudblood kissed him, how bizarre that now he found it enjoyable, how could he not feel disgusted by this half creature touching him?

'I'm not' She said after finishing the kiss. 'What-'

'I don't know' Lucius answered.

'After this is over, I'll see you' She affirmed, a questioning tone in her voice.

'If you'd like' He replied, almost laughing at the casual element in his voice, practically forgetting the war surrounding them.

'If you would' The mudblood smiled warily, this was some strange confirmation of a relationship. He didn't understand it, but he hadn't understood anything this far.

'I would' He murmured, she smiled at him again, an awkward chuckle escaping her. 'I don't know, what this is, but, I wouldn't much like to do without you'

'I don't feel as if I could'

The years after the war blended in to a mess of events, he'd felt so intensely about the mudblood when he'd pulled her aside. In the furore surrounding the end of the war and the defeat of the Dark Lord, he hadn't had time to see the girl, barely had time to think as his life returned to some semblance of normal. He found himself watching the memories in the pensieve, he couldn't quite recreate the desperate passion he'd felt towards her in those days, and the girl must have felt much the same because she hadn't made any effort to contact him, it all felt so ridiculously childish now, these strong emotions about a person you don't know, Lucius didn't understand how the passion had dampened so quickly, even less than he understood how it had flared up so dramatically, he didn't see the girl much after the war, they retreated to their separate lives.

His mind went back to when his grandson had started Hogwarts, he'd attended to the send off, proud to see another Malfoy boy off sure to join the ranks of Slytherin. He'd wandered over to the barriers arm in arm with Narcissa, he saw a young woman trying to pull a suitcase with bags balancing precariously on top and carry a child on her hip, whilst stopping her older child running amok with his caged owl.

'Thank God Scorpius isn't like that' Narcissa whispered, Lucius smirked, some bags toppled off the suitcase and the frazzled woman struggled to maintain a secure grip on her child. Lucius took a few long strides over and picked the muggle holdall up, he looked so elegant in comparison to her frantic movements.

'I believe you dropped this?' He said, the woman spun round, and Lucius almost dropped the bag he was holding. It was her. He hadn't seen her in at least ten years, she'd changed, so much so he hadn't even recognised her from a short distance away. Her hair up in a smooth bun, her skin smooth and her eyelashes swept up with mascara. There was no trace of the teenager she'd been.

'Oh' Her cheeks turned crimson as she took the offered bag. 'Thank you, sorry'

'It was no problem' Lucius nodded, retreating to his wife. The mudblood hurried off, tripping slightly over the suitcase in her haste, she turned and shot them an embarrassed smile, the blush seemed to have spread to her whole face now, and was travelling down her neck. Lucius smiled slightly at the girl, everything that had transpired, the broken agreements on the day of the war. How it all seemed so irrelevant now, like part of someone else's life.

'Did you know that girl?' Narcissa frowned.

'It was that girl, Hermione Granger'

'That was her? I didn't even recognise her!' Narcissa exclaimed 'Why are you smiling?'

'Am I not allowed to?' Lucius asked, watching as Hermione stood before the barriers and watched her son disappear through, her head turned and she nodded at the Malfoy's, trying to regain some dignity after her shock. Lucius smiled, because of what it had been, all it had been, and what it had been reduced to.

And that was his final memory of the girl, and his final thought altogether. Lucius had heard that your entire life flashes in front of your eyes before you die, all he could see was her. Not because she was everything, not because she was nothing. But because she had been an enigma in his world of simplicity, a something where there'd been nothing. She'd always been so undeniably _there, _in his life, even when their relationship had been reduced to nothing more than civil nods at a train station.

**Reviews? Go ooooon**

**live on the edge :D**


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